Hot spot term 4 week 2 writing. (Disclaimer there is violence in this writing)

Hello readers,

In this blog post I will show you what we have been doing in writing and what we have been learning.

 We are learning to be fluent writers and know what writing fluency feels like, which means just writing fast.
Our challenge was to go in this website called the most dangerous random prompt generator. We had to pick the prompt that we want to use in our writing. And then we pressed start to begin our writing. We only had five minutes to write. This website is actually dangerous it makes me frustrated because we have three seconds to have a break until you will fail. The words will turn red and fade away. And then we had to copy and paste it on our hot spot doc and do some changes. After that we had to check with our teacher she wrote some positive stuff and next step.

Here is my writing:
Bad boys squads

19/10/19
They had to work together, so they would need to make a plan and gather together in a secret room. They all ran fast like the wind, rushing in to the secret room. 
The old man said “ We should rob the bank and steal the money.'' 
But the other guys said, "First we need to have weapons and protections.” 
So they went inside a gun shop quickly, kicked and punched the cashier as hard as they could. The cashier man died with lots of blood dripping down his body like rain on the window. They pulled his hand and waved it like he was still alive. Immediately they each got a gun and got lots of bullets. They wore a bullet proof, protective suit each. They decided to rob the bank and steal the money. As they were driving down the road their tyre popped because of gigantic long nails. The car made a “Pfssssshhhhh” They all fainted like their life was over.  

Positive:
Consistent tense
Humour
Language feature: onomatopoeia
Descriptive features - senses
Lots of details!
Dialogue
Strong words and vocabulary
No unnecessary words.

Next steps:
At the start of your dialogue use a capital

Please give me some feedback to my writing. Have you guys already used this website? Let me know in the comments below. "Sorry guys for being too violent in this writing next time I will not be violent anymore".