Term 4 week 3 hot spot doc!

Hello readers,

Today in this blog post I will show you my hot spot writing. We are learning to: write in past progress tense, use powerful action verbs, only include what is powerful, meaningful and important.

Our task was to use the writing prompt "No no, no!" I was sliding back into the dream. And we had to add the strong words like: grasping, tumbling, creaking and sniffling. And then my teacher gave me feedback about my writing. She also gave me my next steps. Then I had to highlight the strengths that I add in my writing.

Here is my writing:
“No, no, no!” I was sliding back into the dream. I was yelling for help as loud as I can but I realise not even a single person can hear me. I was in an uncomfortable stance on my bed and was grasping on the bars of the bed. 

I was in a dark place dominated sun, I look around me and no one was there. “Bang” I heard a noise, I was shivering of fears and made my heart beat faster than a rocket ship blasting off. My teeth were creaking as loud as an elephant snorkeling. 

Suddenly It was cold I feel that I was about to freeze. “Achoo” I sneezed. I was sniffling my nose with my shirt.“Ahhhhhhhhhh” I freaked out. There was a humongous frightening creature with black and red colours jump in front of me. I punch the humongous frightening creature straight at its face and it was tumbling down the mountain. As it was tumbling down the mountain it started to disappear with happiness. And I woke up and told my parents that  my dream was vivid.

Positive:
Dialogue
Language Features: simile, onomatopoeia, hyperbole
Emotions
Senses
Quality language
Use of paragraphs

Next step:
Check your action words ‘was + ing’
Look for your strengths

Strong words that you must include:
Grasping
Tumbling
Creaking

Sniffling

Please leave a comment if you enjoy my writing. Make sure to comment positive, thoughtful and helpful.